How much thought do you give to what you say? I bet you paused for a minute to think about that before the next thing on your to-do-list popped up in your mind. Why? Because you really don't think much about it. We really don't give much work to what we say and that kind of slip into our responses too.
Have ever greeted someone or perhaps say something like “That looks amazing” and the person responded “Same to you”? You may have fallen into that trap a couple of times, I know I have because in our minds are preregistered answers to certain daily communications and anything out of the script throws you off balance. This is one of the habits of the successful, you have to be a good listener, therefore, you have to be intentional with what you say as well.
If you are going to be gentle in your answer it means you have purposed ahead of time, in your mind that no matter what; you will be on your best behavior but with your words and your attitude. Here are 4 categories of answers that will make it a bliss
It does matter if it is the girl that hands over your morning coffee or a stranger that kept the door open for you to walk through, let thank you be one of the most used words in your new vocabulary. In fact, always and I mean always find excuses to use it. That might be the height of that person's day. Besides, people are in such a rush that we have become impatient, not just with others but with ourselves also.
To do the contrary in a way, keep you in a more lively mood. Look for reasons to use it often make it a lifestyle. Besides, what goes around comes around right?
I Am Sorry.
I wonder when was the last time you said this and MEANT it. I mean not just a passing comment or that is what the person facing you is expecting but you know you are wrong, accept it and apologized honestly about it. Sorry has become a really scare word in these days, many people feel entitled not to be wrong, and you and I know there is no such thing as a person who is never wrong. Most relationship end from the starvation of sincere apologies for the wrong done. Sorry is like a soothing oil, the damage may have been done but it set the healing in motion.
It also frees you from guilt and the burden it comes home with. Let it go, but say it out for the other person to hear and you to accept.
How Are You Doing Today?
There are a thousand ways to say I LOVE YOU and this is one of the more meaningful ways. Since the true love seems to have been bastardized, it has fallen short an expression used to tell someone you truly care about them.
Wouldn't you like someone looks you in the eyes and ask you- HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY and you know they meant every single word? That is love.
How can I make your day better?
What would you want me to do differently?
What do you need that I can get for you?
The moral is asking the question that sincerely meet the need of the person you are talking to. Find ways to connect to the loved ones in your life with words that will drip past the general you know …..
This Makes Me Feel....
This statement is a 2 edged sword, as much as it may be to compliment those in your life for what they are doing right to make your life happier, it may be on the other end, a means for your to honestly express how an action makes you feel without pointing accusing finger. This is a way to do with an issue and not castigate the person you are dealing with.
This is pointing to the root and not treating the symptoms. This is you being vulnerable and opening up with out alleging that your mind is read.
This is you being truthful to you and your loved ones.
Imagine you said to your spouse who had passed a comment at double date night “That joke made me feel uncomfortable”
- You pointed out what happened
- You expressed how you felt about it
- You pointed that you wouldn't be comfortable with it happening in the future.
As against- “You always say the wrong things that make me want to crawl under the table”
first accusing your partner send the signal up to become defensive and most likely wouldn't hear anything after “You always”. Determine the dead result for the conversation and decide the best way to present it, since you are the one at the receiving end, it is OK to point it out from that point of view without being cocky about it.
I will love to read from you words that are part of your life that makes your daily dealing with people more productive. Don't forget to leave a comment and share the post with friends and family.