Up front, the principles that will be taught in this blog are spiritually based, and what I mean by that is I will be writing from Christianity point of view. Everything to be said will be Bible-based. If you click on this post, to begin with, I am taking the liberty to believe that, you want things to be better and I can assure you, IT CAN!
If things are not working, then there is a huge possibility that you do not know how to work it. That was a quote I read a couple of year ago, although I disagreed at first, it still rings truth more than 3 years later. Imagine you buy an airplane, but you have never taken a flying class; would you take the risk of flying it first to determine if you can handle it first, get into the air to see if you can handle it? I hope not. But we do the same, every day only not on that scale. We are quick to justify ourselves when things go wrong, especially if we are on the other end, you take a car to the workshop you are told you need new brake pads, you are quick to complain how expensive the automobile is becoming, mind you, you are behind the wheels 7 days a week, more hours than you ever thought to count every day. You kind of forget the number of times you speed, slam on the brakes and it stops, right on time. You also seem to forget this buddy of yours has gotten you home safe month and month without giving you a reason to think about taking it to your mechanic. The same goes for your relationship, we tend to let things go when everything is working just fine. Now there is nothing wrong with but you do not want to become careless and neglect the very thing that should give the most happiness.
So if all you have been doing hasn't been working; let's try something different. I can assure you, if you are sincere about this, you are in for a surprise.
1. War or Battle.
You have to determine what exactly the situation is. Have you ever heard the quote "to lose the battle but to win the war"? You have to determine what REAL issues is and stop playing hide and seek. You have decided what to let go, and what really fight for starting in the place of prayer. Imaging couples fighting toothpaste because for the husband as he gets the paste on the brush, it doesn't matter how the tube is pressed but the wife is more finicky than that. It has to be done right, from bottom upward, no bump inside. Simple right, but under that simple scenario are many possibilities- one is the husband used to his way, see no reason to change now and here is the wife who wants things done her way too.
Once the real issue is spotted then you can deal with root cause not just paying attention to symptoms. If you are the opponent to your partner or spouse, the war is lost before it even started, two can never walk together unless they agree. Amos 3:3
2. Check The Mirror Out.
What do I mean by that? Glad you asked, the person you see has some contributions, if not a lot of the matters on the ground. You have to be honest, totally honest with yourself about the way you are contributing to the heated issues on the ground. If your relationship is worth saving, you might be the first point where change needs to begin. If you lie to you, then the problem runs deeper than you may imagine. Matthew 7:3-5 explains this but I lay emphasis on 5,
first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
This explains it in.
You have been hurt, you may be cheated, but if a part of you still nudges you to fight for your marriage or relationship, I can assure you, you can have it back, whether it is with your spouse or with your kids or sibling. It doesn't matter who is involved.
How can I even sign out without mention the most important part of the post? If you do not need help, then you would not have read this far. If you knew what to do then it would have been. I will ask you, to ask God for help. You have tried so many things, what do you have to lose now? One more thing, will not hurt especially if it isn't anything close to what you've done before.
Pray for God to work on you first, to reveal the real issues to you and help you to take the step needed not matter how hard it may be at first.
Then pray for the person involved. Ask God to touch them and help them too as He will be helping you.
Speak out your prayers in the same vein you communicate with a friend.
On a lighter note, there are things you will need to evaluate.
How you started- you know how started, you never could get enough of one another, what made those moments exciting. You might want to revisit those and recreate them.
Date nights- yes, you are both busy, but if your relationship is worth saving, this is one way to go about it. You have to create time for one another. And these are not the night you talk about work or what needs to be fixed, these are nights you focus on one another need that isn't been meant.
Conflict resolution- how do you resolve matters? Do you let it go but bottle the hurt or do you shout the rooftop off to get yourself heard? Both will not acquire anything good in the long run; you have to agree how best for both of you, how to resolve issues. It doesn't matter hoe long and makes It A Lifetime Affair. been together; if what you are doing isn't working, then a new lease of life is needed to resolve conflicts.
Then relax, I didn't say give up. Relax and be patient. Make it a daily habit to do the 3 things mentioned as you inculcate new habit that comes to mind or you learn, because books will show up, you will stumble on podcasts and blog, some sincere conversation will take you on a deeper journey, but you will daily find help all around you, if you are sensitive to catch them as they come your way.